Dream World

23^rd/08/06

我是

這樣的漫無目的 無所視事

鎮日讓思想承載毫無重量

靈魂 遊蕩如鐘擺

從左晃蕩至右 中間沒有停擺的餘地

甚至忘了如何休息

即使在睡夢裏

秋天的光影

兩 天前罷？身體開始感觸外頭的氣溫不同於之前的高溫難忍，卻是帶著些微的涼意。尤其早晚，似乎預告著秋天的氣息。光是想到才上個星期，熱浪還在肆虐，全球四 處似乎像個燃燒的火球，又是山區野火，又是歐洲城市裏熱死了人，又是美國加州深陷酷署，用電陷入危機，又是許多地方乾旱.......。如今，陡地安靜了 下來，至少空氣裏涵養著這樣的訊息。
光線也產生了戲劇性的變化，從興高彩烈的急促，到帶著青藍的幽光。這些，僅有在不急不徐的心情裏可以體會的，現在，慢慢地轉為身體上的感知。光影正在加長 它幻化的時間，在家中的白牆上，在植物的葉片上跳舞的姿態，在水中倒影的方式姿態。夏天裏大剌剌的陽光，刺目得讓人不能直視，那還看得出它的影子？只是在 冬天又太微弱噢，晦然不明的，也是個不清不楚。春天嘛，它在繁花齊放的境界裏，雀躍著，又讓人看不太準。只有秋天了，它閑逸，像個漫無目標散步的詩人，讓 人看到它的美好與珍貴。
一片古青瓷做成的項鏈墜子，原是友人盼我能在西方販賣東方情懷的珍奇，無奈要我販賣，倒像秋天的光影，美好而珍稀，卻是閑閑晃蕩，結果遙遙無期。

Yoga , now and then

As I read in Paul Brunton’s book, one of the earliest
poineers of the estern spiritual tradition, : “the old
Indian ohilosophical doctrine that universe is but
phantom-like in its real nature drifts into my mind
and begins to abet this destruction of my sense of
reality. I become ready for the strangest experiences
that this planet, which hurries so swiftly through the
abysses of space, can bring me. But some creature of
the earth world breaks rudely into my heavenly dream
by giving loud voice to the monotonous rhythm of an
Indian song, and I return rapidly to that potpourri of
uncertain pleasures and unexpected sorrows which men
call life.” And thus, my life in Mysore began.

It seems juat yesterday, Mysore embraced me as one
of its children. I came initially for the yoga, but
it offers more than just that. Like a piece of plain
fabric dipped it into a very colorful dye, it came out
with a vibrant look internally and externally. What
has India to offer? Or rather, why are people
searching eastwrad in this still very mytherious land?
I often ask myself. In the end, maybe it’s more than
just yoga we are looking for. Whatever the reasons, I
found that yoga, like life itself, can mean different
thing to different people. It’s like we are all
touching the same elephant, but in different parts.
May the whole picture can’t be found until we stop
looking for something. During my whole time in
Mysore, I kept telling myself:Take whatever comes to
you and accepts it as the way it is. Though I can
still see how hard it is to surrender without
resistence.( Talking about striking a fine asana!)

Now that this trip has come to the end, with so many
new experiences to digest, I feel a bit overwhelmed
yet grateful at the same time. There are so many
people that have made these experiences possible.
Shiva, Tina, Anut, Shdha, Krishna…..just to name a
few. Plus many others, Indians and forigners alike,
names unknown, who have made my stay confortable and
interesting. Not to mention those great yoga
teachers, lately for me is Ajay.

The yoga experience here is sometimes like a carnival
to me. So many activities created by tanlented people
have enchanted our lives in Mysore. Yet these
activities can be the source of busy-mindedness for
yogis. I learned that no matter how much information
you try to grasp, the less, the better. We want to
perfect opur asanas, but the greatest challenge of all
is the control of one’s mind. Not an easy task.

Our mind is mostly like the Southern Indian
sunlight-glittering all the time. Nevertheless, the
sunset every evening has an incredible bright light.
Whatched from my roof top, the sun’s rays dance in a
glorious way, then slowly sink below horizon. It
makes my extence humble and reminds me how beautful,
sacred life is. Just like the life cycle, the sun
comes out another day……. The ending always followed a
new beginning. Carring so much of the Mysore
experience within me, I’m looking forward to starting
anew, what people call the life.
Thank you all!!


This was just an yr ago. A very special trip I took for whom is not any type of yoga fanatic, it was a treat. I learn a lot about India and discover that yoga today is not as the same as it was. Nevertheless, at the time my yoga practice was at its peek. But now, without help from masters, I often find myself struggle through the Ashtanga yoga practice.
I started practicing yoga differently recently. I wouldn't say I've practiced any perticular style of yoga ever since I started the practice 4 yrs ago, but I do primarly Ashtanga yoga. It provides me a lot of stamina(sometimes maybe too much, because I will have trouble sleep that night if I stretch myself a little bit too hard.) and strengthens my endurence. Though I like it because its disciplinary quality, I always feel exhausted in the end of session. It also ofen gives me muscles crump.
I now practice yoga with more conscious choice. I do it according my body and mind's need that day. Thoguh without so much sweating or feeing just had a good" work out", I feel my body is more open and my mind is calmer then that practicing Ashtanga yoga. By apporching yoga in a slower way, my body gets to know itself better. Since yoga has become so much like a form of exercise in America socity, like so many other things people do in this country, it has become more and more like a conpetetive sport. I think that is why Ashtanga yoga is in such a hot spot now. People like it because its physical chellanging aspect.
I do Ahstanga mainly because it put me into a regular practice mood. It requires you do it everyday, well, at least five days a week. Now that the more I know about yoga, the less challenge I want to be. I don't mean physically, but reather a state of mind. The challenged mind is often an agitative, or even aggresive mind. Since we live in a world where challenges is not lacking but overtaking our life, we may want to rethink the art of challenging is not always seeingly in the postive side of a scale. It might harm us in the long round.
By practicing slow yoga, I realized what I've missed in time. That is space, a bigger space between me and the world around me.
This is me now.

Port du Gao Xiuong en Taiwan

"年紀大了，看海有種很蒼茫無邊的恐懼感。"妳說。
一年多前的夏天，我們幾個中年女人一起到高雄中山大學附近的海邊看大船入港，再到臨海的山坡茶館喝茶。一年後，一位巧手才藝女 ，消融於人間，靜靜的走了。不知她記得我們隨口約定的旅行計劃？
人生是這樣的不確定，然人們都在追求的，確是一種恆常的安定。
昨夜，看美國的公共電視頻道，訪問比丘尼Pema Chodron，她是近幾年來廣受歡迎的作家，台灣也翻譯了多本她的著作。她在訪談裏一再的強調，人生狀態原本就是"Groundless"(無可依 靠)，那才是真實的人生。問題就在我們要如何在永恆的變異裏，學會自在。當主持人問她；什麼是修行時，她回答﹕修行的目的之一就是Unhook，我暫且翻 譯為放下。但她所謂的放下，其實並沒有太多宗教上的負擔，她講的是一種心的狀態，是關於揚棄一些慣性，思維上的，行為上的，許多捆綁或擾亂我們心靈的種種 現象。簡單的說就是修心，讓它保持在安定，寬然的狀態中。
"年紀大了，比較喜歡看山。"妳說。"因為山有種穩定的力量。"
我多麼渴盼看山看海皆自在的年紀早日到來。

Tailand

photo,India

對話

“Du pain, du vin, du boursin, je vais bien.” “人生有麵包，有酒，有boursin 乳酪，我心已足。”當先生抱怨太太是個情緒化的女人，太太這樣回答，表明自己不是那麼的難搞定。然而這個答案裏實在蘊藏太多的暗示與需求，如安逸。閑情逸緻，到底是個奢侈的生活品質，或是個更急切需要的生活態度，在龐雜混亂，忙碌緊張，不確定的年代？

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“妳看看這些小孩燦爛的笑容，他們多麼快樂。”先生陶醉的指著電腦裏由他的相機裏下載出來的照片。一群非洲廬安達的孩子個個笑開懷，露出一口白牙，誰會聯想到才十二年前的種族大屠殺就發生在他們身邊？那個淒厲的，慘絕人鬟的肅殺行動，三個月內死了將近一百多萬人，全世界卻悄然無聲，沒有制止行動。為什麼？

“快樂？你怎麼知道他們很快樂？”太太疑問的口氣。

“因為我就在那裏。因為他們選擇原諒對方，彼此好好相處。”

“是不是殺到他們自己都已經手軟？，覺得enough is enough？”

廬安達大屠殺的停止，不是因為強權國家或聯合國的介入，沒有第三者的調停，而是一種探到人性最底層，殺戮到達極限的反面，最後雙方只好坐下來談。

下面一張照片，充斥人體骷髏及頭骨殘骸的紀念性博物館，靜靜的訴說生命如螻蟻般的荒謬死亡，可以因為都是人為因素，而人類有不止一座這樣的博物館，但還是殺戮不止。有時人類對同類的愛實在遠不及對自家寵物的愛。為什麼？

*******************

“妳覺得我有沒有可能成為一個好廚師？”將無法作菜視為自己人生缺憾的先生詢問太太。

“不可能！”太太斬釘截鐵，簡短利落的回答，不假思索。

“為什麼？”口氣中幾乎隱含哀思了。

“生活要美，得慢，作菜要好，得耐。正是你的盲點。”

看著低頭不語的先生，太太知道自己的管理學正在發揮效應。慢條斯理的將最後一口咖啡輕輕啜飲，再吸口氣，向來用完餐即急著買單走人的先生，正在消化太太的答案。

和緩的﹕”妳知道法國人花兩三個小時吃頓飯？”先生說。”為什麼？”自問自答的口吻。

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“以色列今天炸死了三十幾個黎巴嫩人，妳看到新聞沒有？”剛下班的先生一進門就丟了這句話。“太不應該了，我”恨”以色列政府。”

“恨？可是個很嚴重的字眼，難道忘了自己是猶太人。”太太說。

“這跟宗教沒有關係。”先生沒好氣回答。

“誰在跟你談宗教？”太太莫明所以。

“以色列是個國家，猶太人是個民族，兩個可以相加或相乘，但不是就同等於。”先生幾乎要用數學符號寫出兩者關係的方程式了。”猶太人當然也可以反以色列！只要他們作得不對。”

“哎，但是要世界上的人不將兩者聯結在一起，不是大白天打著燈籠嗎？”太太無奈。

”為什麼猶太人被恨得那麼多，那麼深？” 先生神色淒然。

“猶太人背負太多人為的原罪。”

“世界上許多的仇恨都是被制造出來的。”太太僅能安慰。

但願被仇恨的一方不再制造仇恨，仇恨者停止仇恨，唯有如此，才會有天下太平的可能。